Update on my life

What has happened after November? Many things and I would say that the biggest was my graduation from university in December. Now I’m officially done with school, at least for few years. I know that after some time I get bit bored and want to try something different and master’s degree would be a nice thing to have.

What about my weight loss journey? No updates there. After my holiday in Finland, my motivation disappeared completely. I tried to keep on plan, but ate normal food so many times, so the only thing was that I kept my weight on the same level, but did not lose any. In January I emailed my Cambridge consultant and said that I need to have a pause with this whole thing, it’s no use to do it only with 50% percent or less motivation. I grew bored of the milkshakes and bars. Felt like I really did not achieve that much. So now I’m going to try something new and different. Eating more and being healthier. I cancelled my gym card because I did not go there for a long time, getting excuses why not and there is no point of paying for something that you doesn’t use. It was nice, but I did not feel comfortable there. I’ve been research and there is another gym closer to me, almost the same opening hours and they even have a sauna. It is a bit cheaper. I’ll see how this goes and what happens.

I do now that I want to lose at least 8 kilos before my birthday that is in April. So I got two months for that. Cambridge weight plan helped me to lose about 20 kilos, but now I need to learn to eat normal food and not binge. Yesterday I started a plan called Go-Fat-Go by Jutta Gustafsberg and everything has gone quite well. It feels that I’, eating quite much, even if that is not true, but it is more than I would be eating on CWP. I even bought a kitchen scale so that I can do everything correctly and not just somewhat around there and then wondering why I do not achieve anything. I do not care for the cottage cheese that much, but luckily I try only to eat it with the porridge and blueberries so I cannot that I really taste it that well.

What else has happened in my life? I’ve gotten more friends and some routine for me like going to the pub on Friday’s some current and old co-workers. I tried going on dates; but it did not really work for me, the guy was nice and everything but honestly said, I did not feel anything towards him. Unfortunately I still have feelings towards a person here in UK, but trying actively to have only friend like feelings because I now that the feelings are not returned.

Well that was about things that have happened, now we can move onto things that are going to happen during this year. In four weeks’ time, I’m having a holiday in Finland, pamper myself and just relax and take it easy. Before that I’m concentrating on the healthy side and being more positive about everything. I’m going to continue seeing friends and trying to make new ones. There is going so many new things and I just can’t wait them to happen. 

My happy face before work :)

A gym story

It’s the beginning of August and you decide to do something that you’ve been thinking already for a long time, joining a gym. Already thinking about all the things you’re going to do there, losing weight, getting really fit and enjoying the feeling of your body. Then comes the first problem, you don’t have any good clothes to use so buying cute fitness clothes is next on the agenda.

Picture from We Heart It

When shopping, you really cannot fit in the cutest outfits, but you find something that fits you, does not look like something your grandma would use and doesn’t cost a fortune. You can also check out some good quality shoes for the gym, there is no point of going there without the right tools. Also before going to the gym, you have to check that there no unwanted hairs on your legs or armpits. There could be handsome guys at the gym and you want to give the best impression.

Picture from We Heart It

So now you have the membership, the clothes and no unwanted hairs. You really would like to go there with a friend, but none of your friends have the incline to join. So alone you must go. Of course today is Monday, a good day to start something new. You’ll even go on the same day, full of enthusiasm and these pictures of yourself when you’re going to be fit.

You start with a warm up on treadmill, walking okay pace for about ten minutes and now you’re ready for the actual training. There lies another problem. You have no slightest idea what to do. Yes, you want flat stomach, nice arms and a nice looking arse. Then you do little bit of this, little bit of that, looking fearfully when the huge guys there lift humongous weights and all the females seems to be in their top shape. You feel like you don’t belong.

Picture from We Heart It

You’ll continue going to the gym, doing something small and trying really to get in better shape, but your motivation starts to fade, you’re not going to the gym anymore, but you still have the membership. You continue paying, saying to yourself “one day I’ll go there again and I succeed”. So you continue living your life, partying normally, eating unhealthy foods and with no exercise at all.

Picture from We Heart It

One year after you bought your gym membership, you’ll remember having, after going through your account. You have been paying for it for a year, but you still look the same. Nothing has changed. You belong to a gym, but do not go there. You’re waiting for the morning you wake up and something magical is going to happen and you feel motivated to change your life, again. But you will be waiting for that a long time, because it does not magically happen. The change comes from within, you have to want the change to happen, you have to work for the change and motivate yourself even it’s raining cats and dogs, your trainers have dust on them and you just don’t have the energy after work.

Picture from We Heart It

Because think of the results you could be showing, if you would have stayed committed to going to the gym. Asked help from a personal trainer or somebody who goes there a lot, changed your eating habits, but mostly believed that you can do it. You would completely look like a different person. A person full of confidence, even if not in goal weight, but working towards it. The motivation sticking by making it a habit. Every, day, week, month. You can do it.

You can do it and so can I.

Fat vs. Muscle

After starting the Cambridge Weight plan and telling some of my family and friends that I am doing it, the reactions has been very different. My sister A has been here for me all the time, supporting and motivating me. Yesterday told my mom that I have lost almost 10kg in little over one month and she was worried that I might be losing the weight too fast. Some of my friends have the same reaction.

From so many places you have read or heard that muscle weighs more than fat. Maybe you have even seen the picture underneath, with 5 pounds of fat and 5 pounds of muscle and the muscle is so much smaller and nicer to look at. These things I have been thinking, especially after starting to move more, going to the gym and doing long walks. It might be that next Wednesday there is not going to be so much weight loss, because of the exercise that I have during this week and what I will continue to do. But if there is no changes on the scale, we are going to take the measurements and then see if there has been any changes.

When looking at the fat picture, I feel ill. The amount of fat in my body is way too much and I want to get rid of it. I'm not one of those lucky people who can almost eat anything they want, without any changes in them. But I'm working towards my goal now.

Another topic that I have been thinking for sometime, are the different body types. Mine is apple, all the fat stores in my middle section, arms and face. Like those areas have some kind of magnet that calls for the fat towards them. Maybe it's from my genes. Getting rid of the fat in my belly and arms is number one goal and unfortunately you cannot choose from where the fat starts burning away. When exercising, I think this is the conversation that my different body parts are having :

"Brain: Oh! We are doing exercise so lets get rid of the extra fat! Belly are you listening?

Belly: ..Sleeping..

Brain: C'mon Belly, wake up! You have to get rid of the extra fat!

Belly: ..Still sleeping..

Brain: Well I try to wake Bell later, maybe Arms are happy to lose the extra fat. Hey Arms, you awake? Time to lose the extra fat!

Arms: Almost sleeping.. trying to ignore Brain..

Brain: What is with everybody! Now is a really good time to get rid of the extra fat. 

Legs, Butt and Boobs: We're awake! We can lose some extra fat!

Brain: Well its good that somebody listens to me, but you three do not have that much extra, but it's better to lose some than none. "

So that is the reason why my belly and arms are in the worst shape, they just do not want to lose the extra fat. but that is not good enough and soon the extra has get burning away. I might be vain, but one of the reasons why I'm doing this, is because I want to buy clothes that really look good on me, different colours.. And I also want to be able to jog/run 10k. That is one of my goals for the future. Always hated running, but getting used to it very slowly.

Happy Go Lucky Feelings in the morning

Sleeping. That is one of my favorite things, but usually its not that easy for me. Too much or too little, never enough. Well actually last night I slept enough, because I woke up refreshed before the alarm and sun was shining! It really was awesome and I think that was one thing that has my day so great, even when I'm feeling bloated because of my period and nervous of today's weigh in. I got five and half hours before it, and already nervous. I have this feeling that nothing has changed  and if nothing really has changed, I'm afraid that I'll eat something unhealthy and then I'll binge.

Tea and water really helps me during the day, especially if there are cravings.

Tea and water helps me quite a lot. Today my co-worker said that my lunch looks "dinky", in other words small. Well quite many times it feels small, but I have used to eating this for lunch and I like it. The Pasta even tastes good. There was some cake again at the office and I stood there staring at it for few minutes thinking if I should have some, just a little bit. Everybody said that the cake was really good, you should have some and for the great shame of mine, I did. This really small slice of cake and it wasn't even that good. That made me wonder that do British complement something if it's not that good, but they want to polite? I think that sounds more American to me.

Now I feel bad, because I ate the small piece of cake and I'm starting to get these urges about eating more unhealthy stuff, because I already screwed up. But it doesn't go like that. Yes, I ate some cake, yes, it's not good for my diet, yes, I know that I'm not in ketosis anymore and I know that soon I'm craving more of everything that is not good for me. But now I'm going to forget the piece of cake that I had and continue towards the future. Because if I'm going to think about it all the time, I will feel like eating more of it.

I've been trying to find more weight loss blogs, especially if somebody is writing their experiences about Cambridge weight plan, so feel free to tell me good ones! I have read this really good one, that is in Finnish. there this person lost over 32 kilos and looks amazing! I want to succeed like she did.

Now it's time to continue writing my thesis plan, finally getting somewhere with the whole thing. Wish me luck.