The annoyance of everything and nothing

Another Wednesday. Another weigh in and today's number on the scale was bigger than last weeks. Not motivating. Still no bowel movement, got more of Cambridge fibre from my coach. The laxative did nothing for me. Coach suggested that I should try coffee, maybe that will work for me. I'll give one week for the coffee and fibre, and help me god if they do not work, I'll buy the super stuff that my sister told me about. Hopefully I do not have to go there.

 After leaving from coaches house, I went to Sainsbury's to buy some instant coffee and skimmed milk with it. There was this cookie section that kept calling my name. I stood in front of the shelf for a long while, something in me trying to say "just buy the cookies, eat them today and start over tomorrow". But I did not buy them. I left them in the store. Because I d not want to start over. I'm going to continue this and be happy.

The free newspapers and one that costs

When I arrived home, there was a package from Finland waiting. It said that sender was A, one of my dearest friends in the whole world, but I was little bit skeptic about what it would have inside and not without a reason. There was pile of Finnish free newspapers and a card. That really made my day 100% better. Like completely better, because they are also remembering me, especially with these crazy stints that they usually do.

My friends A, M, C and I.

After getting home, I was supposed to Skype with my friend T, but I think she forgot. Not a new thing. Maybe another day. Hopefully. After messaging with my sister for some time, we decided just to use Skype. She is spending time at our summer cottage, that lazy person. I can really count on her when losing the motivation or just wanting to went on my feelings, she listens to me, gives good advice and just is there, even if she is another country. I'm lucky to have two people supporting me in my journey, because I could not do this alone.

After the Skype call happened something that should have not happened yet. My period came. Again. Last time they were here like two weeks ago. I do have the normal symptoms, but did not even think about having them again. Maybe my body is just confused about everything. Hopefully they would start to behave normally. Now I'm suffering from stomach cramps, but they'll go away soon. Maybe. Hopefully.

Unpleasant side effects

In this posting I'm going to write about about normal body functions that every human being has and some of you might not want to read about, so feel free to skip. I'm not going to describe too much, because you do not know too much. I'm going to be honest, because this is something that anybody doing Cambridge Weight Plan, could experience.

Soon I have been doing Cambridge Weight Plan for four weeks and in three weeks I have lost 17.7lbs or 8 kilos. It is a good amount, maybe would have lost more, but had my periods on the second week so more bloating in my body. Last Thursday I had some pizza and cakes, so I know that they are going to affect, maybe my weight has not gone down, but I really do hope that I have not gained more. That would be really depressing.

Biggest problem for me has been constipation. Before CWP, my normal bowel movement was once a day, usually in the morning, after waking up. Now it is once or twice a week and that is not nice. The feeling of bloating is with me all the time, but my stomach does not hurt. The first week I went without anything, thinking that maybe my body needed more time for the change. On the second week I went and bought some natural laxatives called Natural Senna Laxatives from Boots. They did nothing else than make me sound like my friend A when she's hungry. That week I had the number two once and with great work and pain. Third week my consultant gave me a sample of the Cambridge Fibre and said that I should have it half a teaspoon a day, mixing it on my shakes or just water. Did not work either. Tried even putting whole teaspoon, but no. Again I have had number two once and today the bloating feeling is so annoying. I also fear that it's going to affect my weigh in tomorrow.

After work I decided to walk to Tesco's, buy some other Laxative called Dulcoease, some Camomille tea that should help digestive system and flax seeds. I took one of the laxatives now and had a cup of Camomille tea. I really do hope that they work. I don't see this plan working for me for much longer if I cannot have a normal rhythm. Of course I understand that I'm not having that much food, so there is not that much waste, but still its not nice. If these do not work, maybe the next thing is going to be Psyllium Husk and add more exercise. Look of some basic yoga that I could do at home, because I'm not that flexible. Stand corrected, not flexible at all, like an iron stick.

I also ordered yesterday some contact lenses, because I ran out. These were quite cheap, everything in the picture above cost me under 26£ so not bad. Now I just hope that the lenses are good for me, because I have six pairs of them. When browsing the site, I saw these really cute animal lense cases and the frogs were screaming my name, tempting to buy and I did. No regrets. There came also this normal case, but normal is sometimes really boring. So frogs protect my lenses for the moment, maybe next time I'll buy elephants. I ordered the lenses yesterday and they came today, first class Royal Mail, really nice and fast delivery. 

Took a morning selfie, just because I felt like it. Sometimes when I look at the mirror, I think I see some changes in me, maybe my face looks a bit thinner than earlier, but some other times the bloating feeling is there so no thin faces for me. In this picture you can see my huge forehead, so many times I let my bangs/fringe cover it, but today I put my hair back with bobby pins. Next to my door, can you see my motivation mushroom from Super Mario? It says get a life and it's the only coverall patch that I took with me. First I was thinking that maybe I could sew it on my bag pack, but at the moment it's good where it is. 

Soon off to bed, waiting and being nervous about tomorrows weigh in. So hoping that it has gone down. Maybe I should try eating three products per day.

New month, new goals.

Usually when people start new diet or exercise plan, they tend to do on Monday. It's so easy to say on Friday that "I'll start eating healthy and exercising on Monday, so now I'll just go to the grocery store, buy all these things I'll have to give up and eat while I still can." I've done that in the past. But there lies the biggest problem, in the sentence. I'll have to give up. That is the problem for me at least. The moment I think that I cannot have all those unhealthy but oh so tasty treats, I start thinking about them all the time. And my workplace does not help towards it. 

Last Thursday we had this Fancy Dress Up day at work and the theme was Disney. People brought there all kind of yummy treats and all of them were placed across my table. I could see and smell them and I'm sorry to say that I cracked. Had some small pieces of cake and sweets. We also had our company meeting during that day, so we ordered 15 pizzas to the office and I had to slices of pizza. Then my thoughts started going on 100/km, now I have screwed up this, it doesn't matter, I'll just eat everything that I can. But somehow I motivated myself not to eat more treats or pizza. That is something that should be for everybody, you might crack and have some treats, but then continue with your diet. Forgive yourself and the forget the treat, not staying to think the treats, because then you are thinking about the treats, mentally torturing yourself. Thought's are so powerful and sometimes you are just tired of saying no to yourself when you want something. I dressed up as Minnie Mouse, easy and not too time consuming. I did not take the costume off or wash the makeup before I went home, so I got some funny reactions on the bus.

So from Friday I continued normally eating my Cambridge products, soon going through the withdrawal again, but this is my choice and I'll live with it. There were still so many treats left and my coworker L had some, but usually she eat's really healthily and no sweets. But that day it was me. I know I should not compare myself to anybody, except the person I was yesterday. One thing I really want to experience, that people really notice that I have lost weight and then they might even comment it. I might be vain that way, but being truthful, that motivates me. 

On Saturday I took the morning easy, visited library, tried to join the Reading Sport and Leisure centres by visiting the Central Pool, but their reception was closed. That annoyed me a bit, because there were three people standing behind the desk. But there are other locations so went next to the Palmer Park Stadium location. Well of course everything did not go so easily. Their card machine was not working at the moment and I did not have any cash with me. That problem was easily corrected by walking to the ATM near by. Now I have a gym membership. Going today try it to my closest gym location, in Meadway. 

Also decided to walk to Decathlon sports store in Reading, they were having sales. I so wanted to buy so much and different things, but I decided to stick with the things I need, like new bottoms, few tops, long sleeved shirt and some socks. I have been in Decathlon before, but only in Shanghai. It's a good store and the products work for me. Next to Decathlon, there was this HobbyCraft store, full of everything, like my own personal heaven/hell, because I really wanted to buy so much. But I came home only with Fiskars scissors, To-Do-List and Foam board for my next project. The Fiskars scissors were quite expensive, but I know that they are good.  Now I have this motivation for doing different craft projects, but I'll start slowly, because not trying to spend all of my money there. It would be so easy.